Teepster
01-07-2009, 04:03 PM
Thank you to everyone who read my post and said “Hi.” You have not only acknowledged my existence despite the naysayers about “Lore,” you have also ensured your removal from my list of potential test subjects for new fire spells.
As we are getting to know each other, I thought I would touch on something that seems to confuse many people I meet. And that is: WHY DIDN’T YOU HEAL ME.
The obvious answer is I do not like you. Healing is like a gift and I do not give gifts to schmucks. I guess I can heal you to keep you alive, but that begs the question: do I want you alive? If the answer is no, then you now know why you are not being healed.
Another reason could be I like you, but I am lazy. Healing is a gift and I do not give gifts when I am eating, talking to bearded ladies (unless it is the gift of love) or just plain chillaxing. If you see me at dinner with a bearded woman, please do not ask for a heal. In fact, you should consider yourself lucky I do not shoot lightning bolts from my fingertips at your skull to impress my lady-friend…my bearded lady-friend (Oh Yeah!!!)
Another reason (and there are many) is that I am not attuned. “What is with all this fancy ‘Attunement’ talk Mr. Runekeepster?” you may ask. I do not generally break out the big words for you since I prefer to fry your brain with my fire, but attunement is a term of art which means that if I am killing someone, do not bother me about a heal. If I am reading a story or rune to help you survive, do not expect me to turn around and bring down the spine-splitting wrath of nature on your enemies. Healing is a gift, and I do not give gifts when I am in a homicidal rage (unless it is the gift of merciful death). More than that, like making sweet, sweet love to bearded women: healing takes time to get it right. Therefore, if I am slaughtering whole armies of orcs in a red haze of fury, you really can’t expect me to turn around and tell you a warm, bed-time story that will make you feel better over time. First, any story that I tell while in a psychotic episode will not be good (or coherent). Seriously, you try it. If you are able to kill people and tell bed-time stories simultaneously, then I am calling the Shire Bounders because you are Hannibal Lechter and should be committed. So, please remember, there is no healing when I am busy keeling. (I know it should be killing but then the rhyme would not work)
Anyway, there are far more reasons but these are the big ones. Plus, I hear a knock at the door. It must be my bearded lady-friend. So, without further ado, Good Bye. Thank you again for getting to know me. I really do hope that I get the chance to send a heal your way in the future. But, if I do not, you know why.
Hugs and Kisses,
Teepster Runekeepster
As we are getting to know each other, I thought I would touch on something that seems to confuse many people I meet. And that is: WHY DIDN’T YOU HEAL ME.
The obvious answer is I do not like you. Healing is like a gift and I do not give gifts to schmucks. I guess I can heal you to keep you alive, but that begs the question: do I want you alive? If the answer is no, then you now know why you are not being healed.
Another reason could be I like you, but I am lazy. Healing is a gift and I do not give gifts when I am eating, talking to bearded ladies (unless it is the gift of love) or just plain chillaxing. If you see me at dinner with a bearded woman, please do not ask for a heal. In fact, you should consider yourself lucky I do not shoot lightning bolts from my fingertips at your skull to impress my lady-friend…my bearded lady-friend (Oh Yeah!!!)
Another reason (and there are many) is that I am not attuned. “What is with all this fancy ‘Attunement’ talk Mr. Runekeepster?” you may ask. I do not generally break out the big words for you since I prefer to fry your brain with my fire, but attunement is a term of art which means that if I am killing someone, do not bother me about a heal. If I am reading a story or rune to help you survive, do not expect me to turn around and bring down the spine-splitting wrath of nature on your enemies. Healing is a gift, and I do not give gifts when I am in a homicidal rage (unless it is the gift of merciful death). More than that, like making sweet, sweet love to bearded women: healing takes time to get it right. Therefore, if I am slaughtering whole armies of orcs in a red haze of fury, you really can’t expect me to turn around and tell you a warm, bed-time story that will make you feel better over time. First, any story that I tell while in a psychotic episode will not be good (or coherent). Seriously, you try it. If you are able to kill people and tell bed-time stories simultaneously, then I am calling the Shire Bounders because you are Hannibal Lechter and should be committed. So, please remember, there is no healing when I am busy keeling. (I know it should be killing but then the rhyme would not work)
Anyway, there are far more reasons but these are the big ones. Plus, I hear a knock at the door. It must be my bearded lady-friend. So, without further ado, Good Bye. Thank you again for getting to know me. I really do hope that I get the chance to send a heal your way in the future. But, if I do not, you know why.
Hugs and Kisses,
Teepster Runekeepster