Teepster
01-06-2009, 05:27 PM
First off. My name is Teepster...and I am a Runekeeper.
Contrary to some of the rumours out there, the tales of my non-existence are greatly exaggerated. As I travel Middle-Earth, I am constantly bombarded with questions about whether we are consistent with Lore. Well, consistent or not, you can not deny the fact that I am standing hear toasting that troll with lightning from my fingertips. Clearly, I am real. And, to those that think that I am confused, let me offer some evidence about the reality that we are a new and distinct class.
First, we are NOT Lore-masters. I do not have a pet. I do not carry a staff. I do not require a two-by-four to inscribe a few runes of power. I just need a rock. As you will notice in battle, Lore-masters like to brain their enemies with the staff. Me and my brethren do no such thing. We do not hit things with sticks. WE SHOOT LIGHTNING FROM OUR FINGERTIPS! While some may argue that Lore-Master can also shoot lightning, please take into consideration that they can do this once in a great while. I shoot lightning at my enemies with one hand, light my pipe with lightning with the other and then cook my breakfast with lightning that I call from the sky in the space of 2 seconds. AND THEN I DO IT AGAIN IMMEDIATELY BECAUSE IT IS SO COOL!!!
Second, we are NOT minstrels. Again, please notice that I carry a rock with runes on it. This is not an instrument. I do not play instruments. I do not even like music. Have you ever tried carving runes of power on a drum? A: The Drum sounds like complete $*it when it spews lightning. And B: Fire-attuned drums tend to explode, thereby injuring enemies, friends, innocent bystanders and myself. Moreover, I do not generate morale like a Minstrel. Minstrels make you feel good...right away. Real good. I am not interested in playing music to psych you up. I read stories that put things in perspective and help you survive. For instance, Minstrels will play the tune from Rocky and pump you up immediately so you can climb those steps in Thorin's Hall to victory and blow that horn like a champ. I, on the other hand, am more like Apollo Creed to your Rocky. You don't get me at first, but if you listen to me (AND BY GOD YOU SHALL LISTEN), you will beat down Drago and put Clubber Lang in his place (albeit after several rounds of you being beat down and me dying in the process). That is the nature of my Heal over time. What kind of fun would it be if Rocky destroyed his enemies in the second round. F that. Real victory comes at a price and it comes "OVER TIME."
Third, I am not a hunter. I can not kill as quickly as a hunter. It is just a simple fact that saddens me every day but I can not help it. Point in fact. I can light you on fire. Sure it hurts. I know this (and seriously...get over it. It was an accident and I did not see you standing next to that orc). Anyway, I light goblins on fire all the time and they run around for like 10 minutes before they are cooked. I saw one run for like 100 meters once. However, have you ever tried running with an arrow through your leg? You would be lucky to make it 1 meter. Those damn things hurt. I would rather take lightning to my face, then an arrow in the eye. I know that calling down lightning on top of your head sounds pretty uber but the facts are the facts, an arrow that seeks your heart by way of your ear is far more serious. I know minstrels who just skip by the morale boosting songs and go straight for the resurrection tunes once they see that type of action. You may ask, if DPS is so important, why don't I learn to shoot people with arrows. PLEASE REFER BACK TO THE FIRST POINT: I CAN SHOOT LIGHTNING FROM MY FINGERTIPS!!! I do not care that a Hunter can kill faster. They can not kill and cook their food in one step. Moreover, there is something about being able to light someone on fire without a bow that makes people take you more seriously at meal-time. I mean, would you argue with me? Hell, I will hurt you, heal you and then hurt you again...with fire...right at the dinner table before you can take two steps to grab your bow, sword, staff or lute. And yes, I sleep with my stone.
Anyway, I digress. My name is Teepster and I am one of the new Rune-keepers in Haste. Please say Hi the next time you see me. I am a Pisces and I love walks on the beach. My turn-ons are pretty much everything (my last girlfriend had a beard). My turn-offs are people who can not accept the depth and breadth of my power...I SHOOT LIGHTNING FROM MY FINGERTIPS, YO!!!! You better recognize, Cuz.
Hugs and Kisses,
Teepster Runekeepster
Contrary to some of the rumours out there, the tales of my non-existence are greatly exaggerated. As I travel Middle-Earth, I am constantly bombarded with questions about whether we are consistent with Lore. Well, consistent or not, you can not deny the fact that I am standing hear toasting that troll with lightning from my fingertips. Clearly, I am real. And, to those that think that I am confused, let me offer some evidence about the reality that we are a new and distinct class.
First, we are NOT Lore-masters. I do not have a pet. I do not carry a staff. I do not require a two-by-four to inscribe a few runes of power. I just need a rock. As you will notice in battle, Lore-masters like to brain their enemies with the staff. Me and my brethren do no such thing. We do not hit things with sticks. WE SHOOT LIGHTNING FROM OUR FINGERTIPS! While some may argue that Lore-Master can also shoot lightning, please take into consideration that they can do this once in a great while. I shoot lightning at my enemies with one hand, light my pipe with lightning with the other and then cook my breakfast with lightning that I call from the sky in the space of 2 seconds. AND THEN I DO IT AGAIN IMMEDIATELY BECAUSE IT IS SO COOL!!!
Second, we are NOT minstrels. Again, please notice that I carry a rock with runes on it. This is not an instrument. I do not play instruments. I do not even like music. Have you ever tried carving runes of power on a drum? A: The Drum sounds like complete $*it when it spews lightning. And B: Fire-attuned drums tend to explode, thereby injuring enemies, friends, innocent bystanders and myself. Moreover, I do not generate morale like a Minstrel. Minstrels make you feel good...right away. Real good. I am not interested in playing music to psych you up. I read stories that put things in perspective and help you survive. For instance, Minstrels will play the tune from Rocky and pump you up immediately so you can climb those steps in Thorin's Hall to victory and blow that horn like a champ. I, on the other hand, am more like Apollo Creed to your Rocky. You don't get me at first, but if you listen to me (AND BY GOD YOU SHALL LISTEN), you will beat down Drago and put Clubber Lang in his place (albeit after several rounds of you being beat down and me dying in the process). That is the nature of my Heal over time. What kind of fun would it be if Rocky destroyed his enemies in the second round. F that. Real victory comes at a price and it comes "OVER TIME."
Third, I am not a hunter. I can not kill as quickly as a hunter. It is just a simple fact that saddens me every day but I can not help it. Point in fact. I can light you on fire. Sure it hurts. I know this (and seriously...get over it. It was an accident and I did not see you standing next to that orc). Anyway, I light goblins on fire all the time and they run around for like 10 minutes before they are cooked. I saw one run for like 100 meters once. However, have you ever tried running with an arrow through your leg? You would be lucky to make it 1 meter. Those damn things hurt. I would rather take lightning to my face, then an arrow in the eye. I know that calling down lightning on top of your head sounds pretty uber but the facts are the facts, an arrow that seeks your heart by way of your ear is far more serious. I know minstrels who just skip by the morale boosting songs and go straight for the resurrection tunes once they see that type of action. You may ask, if DPS is so important, why don't I learn to shoot people with arrows. PLEASE REFER BACK TO THE FIRST POINT: I CAN SHOOT LIGHTNING FROM MY FINGERTIPS!!! I do not care that a Hunter can kill faster. They can not kill and cook their food in one step. Moreover, there is something about being able to light someone on fire without a bow that makes people take you more seriously at meal-time. I mean, would you argue with me? Hell, I will hurt you, heal you and then hurt you again...with fire...right at the dinner table before you can take two steps to grab your bow, sword, staff or lute. And yes, I sleep with my stone.
Anyway, I digress. My name is Teepster and I am one of the new Rune-keepers in Haste. Please say Hi the next time you see me. I am a Pisces and I love walks on the beach. My turn-ons are pretty much everything (my last girlfriend had a beard). My turn-offs are people who can not accept the depth and breadth of my power...I SHOOT LIGHTNING FROM MY FINGERTIPS, YO!!!! You better recognize, Cuz.
Hugs and Kisses,
Teepster Runekeepster