Wrathrandir
12-25-2008, 01:42 AM
Twas the night before Christmas,
and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring,
not even the pesky door mouse;
My weapons were hung by the chimney with care,
in hopes that a summoning horn
would soon blare;
My swords were all sharpened,
and snug in their sheaths,
While my halberds and daggers
glimmered, beckoning to me;
My armour all polished,
and with helm in hand,
I settled in by the fire
for some ale with a friend;
When out in the yard
there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my chair
to see what was the matter.
Away to the window
I ran with haste,
tore open the window
and threw up the grate.
The moon on the breast
of the new-fallen snow.
Gave the luster of midday
to objects below.
When, what to my wondering
eyes should appear,
but the Dark Lord Sauron
with an army of fear!
With a scream and a yell,
so dark and so vile,
I knew in a moment
my home would be on fire.
More rapid than eagles
his minions they came,
and he bellowed and shouted,
and called them by name;
" Now, Northpaw! Now, Gnashmaw!
Now Bleakwind and Gashan!
On, Karnasht! On, Khurshat!
On, Chillgrip and Malgen!
To the top of the stairs!
To the top of the wall!
Now CRUSH THEM! CRUSH THEM!
CRUSH THEM ALL!"
As dry leaves that before
the whirlwind fly,
When they meet with an obstacle,
mount to the sky;
So up to my house top
his minions they flew,
With torches, pitchforks
and a ballista or two.
And then in a moment,
I heard on the roof,
the clashing and bashing
of weapons to roof---
As I drew in my head,
and was turning around,
Down through the chimney
came Sauron in one bound.
He was dressed all in black
from his head to his foot,
and his armour was tarnished,
covered with soot;
A sword and a shield
he held in his hands,
And he looked like
death warmed over,
man this guy needed a tan!
His eyes-- how horrible!
His dimples, none really!
His cheeks filled with maggots,
his nose like a herring!
His gaping maw
was open and yelling,
and the beard of his chin,
was blood soaked and scary;
The pieces of his armour,
he held together with flesh,
and the stench of it,
made me woozy of head;
He had a sallow face
and a gaunt belly,
That twisted and writhed,
as he stretched battle ready!
He was lean and mean,
a scary old sight,
And I screamed when I saw him,
with all of my might!
A wink of his eye
and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know
I had everything to dread;
With a battle shout,
he went straight to his work,
swinging his sword;
then he turned with a jerk;
Gandalf thrusting his sword
into Sauron's head,
gave me a nod,
to help relieve some of the dread;
Gandalf sprang to Shadowfax,
giving him a small pat,
And away they galloped
into the black.
But I heard Gandalf yell,
ere he rode out of sight,
" Merry Christmas to all.
And to all a good fight!"
and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring,
not even the pesky door mouse;
My weapons were hung by the chimney with care,
in hopes that a summoning horn
would soon blare;
My swords were all sharpened,
and snug in their sheaths,
While my halberds and daggers
glimmered, beckoning to me;
My armour all polished,
and with helm in hand,
I settled in by the fire
for some ale with a friend;
When out in the yard
there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my chair
to see what was the matter.
Away to the window
I ran with haste,
tore open the window
and threw up the grate.
The moon on the breast
of the new-fallen snow.
Gave the luster of midday
to objects below.
When, what to my wondering
eyes should appear,
but the Dark Lord Sauron
with an army of fear!
With a scream and a yell,
so dark and so vile,
I knew in a moment
my home would be on fire.
More rapid than eagles
his minions they came,
and he bellowed and shouted,
and called them by name;
" Now, Northpaw! Now, Gnashmaw!
Now Bleakwind and Gashan!
On, Karnasht! On, Khurshat!
On, Chillgrip and Malgen!
To the top of the stairs!
To the top of the wall!
Now CRUSH THEM! CRUSH THEM!
CRUSH THEM ALL!"
As dry leaves that before
the whirlwind fly,
When they meet with an obstacle,
mount to the sky;
So up to my house top
his minions they flew,
With torches, pitchforks
and a ballista or two.
And then in a moment,
I heard on the roof,
the clashing and bashing
of weapons to roof---
As I drew in my head,
and was turning around,
Down through the chimney
came Sauron in one bound.
He was dressed all in black
from his head to his foot,
and his armour was tarnished,
covered with soot;
A sword and a shield
he held in his hands,
And he looked like
death warmed over,
man this guy needed a tan!
His eyes-- how horrible!
His dimples, none really!
His cheeks filled with maggots,
his nose like a herring!
His gaping maw
was open and yelling,
and the beard of his chin,
was blood soaked and scary;
The pieces of his armour,
he held together with flesh,
and the stench of it,
made me woozy of head;
He had a sallow face
and a gaunt belly,
That twisted and writhed,
as he stretched battle ready!
He was lean and mean,
a scary old sight,
And I screamed when I saw him,
with all of my might!
A wink of his eye
and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know
I had everything to dread;
With a battle shout,
he went straight to his work,
swinging his sword;
then he turned with a jerk;
Gandalf thrusting his sword
into Sauron's head,
gave me a nod,
to help relieve some of the dread;
Gandalf sprang to Shadowfax,
giving him a small pat,
And away they galloped
into the black.
But I heard Gandalf yell,
ere he rode out of sight,
" Merry Christmas to all.
And to all a good fight!"